Sexual identity and sexual orientation:
Sexual identity is how you asume your self and how you show yourself publicly. "To asume" can be consciously or unconsciously.
If you are conscious, you can show; but if you are unconscious of it, then you just "appear" (you have poor or no control over it).
Appart from this, there is our real identity, which includes sex, genre and function. Our identity, the other one, also includes sex (biological), genre (psicological) and function (role).
Our real identity we can´t find it alone. The other one goes with us an entire life, and it is mutable, not fixed (not even biological sex, today).
About the other theme, we must learn how to live with our sexual orientation (and other people´s) because it is fixed.